30 Life Lessons I Learned in my Thirties

I will be celebrating my 40th birthday in just a few days. I may not look like it, (like most of you have told me) but I have been around for 39 years. And so far, life has been good to me. I was born poor. Like a wise man once said, “Our family was so por, we could not afford the other o.” Though I am not wealthy by definition, I feel rich. But most importantly, I feel blessed.  When my brothers and sisters came to the United States in the early 2000s, All eleven (11) of us, including my mom and my stepfather, lived in a one-bedroom apartment in New York City. I was the first one who came to NY  from Haiti in 1998, and my mom already had two children who were born here. Just before I graduated college, I met my then boyfriend who thought me how to invest my money wisely. Before I met him, spending money on clothes was my favorite hobby.

30 Life Lessons I Learned in my Thirties

To make a long story short, my husband sold the house he was living in before we got married,  and we moved to Georgia in 2005, two months after the wedding. Together we bought 4 houses: 2 in the city, and 2 in the suburbs where we currently live. 3 of the houses were investment properties and we were able to rent them out for a decent amount of money. Things were going well until the economic meltdown in 2008. We lost 3 of the houses that we owned, but we were able to keep the one that we are living in right now. My husband almost had a nervous breakdown when we started to lose those rental properties. I stayed calm because I had to be strong for him. Those words from the bible helped me get through our difficult times, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!” _ Job 1:21.

My dreams

When I was back home in Haiti, all I dreamed about was being rich. There was a village back home called VILLAGE THEODAT. It was what we call a subdivision here in the United States. That village was where only rich people lived. They had their own tennis courts, pools, and big houses. My dream was to live there one day. My dream was to have everything that they had. Today, I live in a 6-bedroom home with 3 1/2 bathrooms. I have a tennis court that I set food in only to get my pictures taken. I have a pool that I only go to when my husband is convincing enough to drag me out of the house. My point is, life has been good to me. But without the word of God and his wisdom, I wouldn’t be here today. A lot of people commit suicide after losing everything because they don’t understand that He who has given,  Can and Will give again. They think they did it all alone and they are not able to do it again. Everything you own can be gone in 2.5 seconds, but the Word of God will stay with you forever.

1. Things Have a way of working themselves out.
A few months ago, I got promoted at my job. I liked everything about my new promotion, except for these meetings that I had to go to every Tuesday. When I complained to my husband about it, he told me that I was just sitting there for an hour and getting paid for it. He was not sure what I was complaining about. We would laugh about it, but I was really dying inside. About two months later, my boss quit and we stopped having those meetings.

2. The peace that passes all understanding can be achieved
Meditation is the best way to spend time with God. If you seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him.

3. Forgiveness is not for the forgiven. It is for the forgiver.
I was mad at my dad for a long time because of the way he treated all 5 of us when we were little. I stopped feeling angry when I finally forgave him and let all the pain go. The person who is hurt is always the one who carries the anger, not the one who caused the pain.

4. People will walk all over you only if you let them
“Don’t let anybody upset you. They are powerless. Your reaction is their only power.” I am not sure who wrote this, but it is one of my favorite quotes.

5. Cyber friends are real friends, too.
We are closer than you think. Words are more powerful than some computer screen. Don’t be afraid to make friends online. But do stay away from bullies.

6. Life does not always go as planned
When I was pregnant with my son I was so convinced that I was going to have a natural birth. I read the book  WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE EXPECTING and skipped the part about C-section. But guess what?  I ended up having a C-Section. Alexander refused to come out and my doctor had to cut me open. LOL! Just go with the flow.

7. Time heals all wounds.
When my sister died in the year 2000, it hurt. I did not think that pain would ever go away. But over time, I understood why she had to go. I also understand why one day, I too, will have to go. Like Steve Jobs and many others said, ” Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die to get there. Like the bible says, “This too shall pass.”


8. Give without expecting anything in return.
Do good because it is the right thing to do, not because it makes you look good.

9. We are more powerful than we think we are.
You will go as far as you allow your mind to take you. I used to tell my husband that I could not walk 3 miles. One day I forced myself to walk five miles. I have been walking five miles every time we go to the park.

10. Learn to see the good in People.
We say all the time that “nobody is perfect” but when somebody does something that disappoints us, we want that person to die.  Love means never having to change the one we love, but change ourselves into loving them for who they are. Yep, I wrote that! LOL

11. Patience always pays off. 
I rarely brag about myself, but I have to say this, I am one of the most patient people in the world. And I always get rewarded for being patient, like not getting a speeding ticket because the driver in front of me is slow.

12. It’s okay to cry. 
It will free your soul and make you feel better. 


13. You don’t work for people, you work for God.
Whatever you do in life, do it with all your heart. Your bonus does not come from your boss. It comes from God.


14. It’s okay to fail.
I used to be the kind of person who hated failure. I cried when I  failed my first driving test. But that experience thought me to pray before starting anything in life. Failure can teach us a lot of things.

15. Your kids will challenge you. 
I feel like I am always being tested by my children, and they are not even teenagers yet. I once I asked my son when he was going to grow up. His answer was, “When I am ready.” Then I felt stupid for asking that question. I was not ready for that answer.

16. The people who actually care about you don’t mind your business
Those who talk behind your back don’t really care about you.  But those who actually do care, will let you know when you’re messing up, but let you be you and not criticize you.

17. Words have power
It is wise to think twice before you speak. The words you speak can make or brake those you love.


18. Slow down and enjoy every moment.
It’s funny how those of us who don’t want to die are those who drive the fastest, who get mad when we are stuck in traffic, can’t wait to leave work, only to find ourselves there the next morning. “Life is a journey, enjoy it!”

19. What goes around does come around. 
You will get exactly what you put  out there. “For with the measure you use, It will be measured back to you.” _ Luke 6:38

20. Negative people bring negative energy.
While everyone you meet will teach you a life lesson, that doesn’t mean they should be in your life forever. Cut them loose if they are dragging you down.


21. Never tell your new boyfriend how good your ex was.
He just might become your husband.

22. Save more, give a little, but make yourself happy. 
What’s the point of working hard if you cannot splurge once in a while? But saving and sharing are equally important. 


23. The more you think about the past, the longer you will stay there
It’s okay to revisit the past so you can plan your future, but try not to stay there.

24. Always listen to that small voice.
Your gut feeling is always right. Follow your intuition. Stop when it tells you to stop, and run when it tells you to.

25. I know my body better than my doctor.
I understand my doctor has been practicing medicine for 25 years, but I have been in my body for 39 years, So I have the right to a second opinion.  If something does not feel right, seek a second opinion.


26. Don’t try to be somebody else.
Be the best you you can be. That spot is yours and yours only.

27. Stop taking yourself too seriously. 
I laugh at myself all the time.  I teach my children when to be serious and when to laugh at themselves.  Nothing upsets a bully more.


28. Be passionate
You have to believe in something. When you are passionate about what you do and believe in it with all your heart, things start to happen.

29. We are all connected. 
We have more in common than you think. I remember how I wanted a new testament bible. One day I found one at the front desk at my job.  Although, I said to myself that it was there for me.  I did not remove it. But a few minutes later, my friend came to me and said, ” this is for you. They were giving them away at my school and I got one for you.”  The Universe provided.

30. Marry someone whose company you enjoy.
If your current boyfriend annoys you, don’t marry him. He that will not change after you get married.